Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.