Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
That moment when you offer somebody a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she`s not your friend anymore
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.