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Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
UFC is 10% fighting, and 90% advertising the next fight
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.