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Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.