Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Hello...
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*