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Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”