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I send more time looking for porn than actually watching it.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/