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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
awesome collection!
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.