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I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.