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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.