Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My car is so old the high beam switch is on the floor...
More food should come with prizes inside it.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
I just awesomed all over the place.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.