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Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out