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Is there anyone called Phillip here? I found your screwdriver.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
Had a pizza today without extra cheese. Dieting is hard
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?