Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.