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If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
These people keep looking at me like I`m the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.