Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I will just be a stripper." Then I remember I am fat and I can`t dance.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Never squat with your spurs on
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional