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I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn`t enough
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.