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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?