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If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them in the face.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
High-five a veteran today.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?