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word of the day: nincomtard
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.