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I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
morning i hate girls evening i need girls