Daily Silly Status

Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.

When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`

Sober me makes plans and drunk me cancels them. Its a good system.

This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.

I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?

the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly

Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.

I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.

( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!

If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...

I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.

My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and sent me a poem on Pinterest explaining how tired she was after a long day of work leading to her email. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.

Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.

The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.