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My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
I liked you better before we met.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Strange new trend at work. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Yesterday I ate a tuna sandwich named Jennifer.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.