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I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone