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Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes kept getting sucked in my nose!
When the kids come home from school they close the door then almost immediately open another door..... The one to the fridge!!!!