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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.