Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.