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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I order all my food with extra gluten.
"Dancing with the Stars" is being canceled, but tune in to a new reality show by the same creators called, "Athletes do your Taxes."
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?