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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.