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I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........