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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I’m heading north to start a new life.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.