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Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store