Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili`s at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I`ve decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili`s.
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
I think I may be getting harder to love.