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Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
If you’ve never pretended a Cheeto is a tiny caveman club, we can’t be friends.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.