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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
My mom just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren`t drying i swear to God..
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
heyy lol
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet