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People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.