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If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?