Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
One day I`ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward