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My favorite part of the day? The food part.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.