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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep