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One trenta cheeseburger please.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Subway is the only place I can walk in and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not feel like a slut.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.