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If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.