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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Do bees even have knees?
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day