Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. ..well, she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet..
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.