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A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...