Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate “I love you!” and “I will kill you!” with a single look.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.