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I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka