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It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.