Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
Good morning my friends ... Wait a minute ... What the f*ck am I doing up this early.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Doctor: How`s your headache? Me: She`s out of town.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours