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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
“The darndest things.” -kids
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.