Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
Being alive is so expensive.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.