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they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
Iām at the age where all my posts start with the phrase āIām at the age where.ā
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?