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If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.